Many parents out there feel like they’re not doing a great job with their kids – and maybe their jobs, their partner or their friends, too. But mental health experts say this is the time to cut ourselves some slack and embrace that being adequate is more than enough these days. Instead of beating ourselves up or seeing other parents on social media who seem to have this parenting during a pandemic thing down, try to go easy on yourself. That’s easier said than done, but psychologist Claire Nicogossian literally wrote the book on the subject, “Mama, You Are Enough: How to Create Calm, Joy and Confidence Within the Chaos of Motherhood,” and this is her advice for learning to be okay with simply being okay right now.
- Remind yourself we’re still in survival mode – We’re all trying to cope with different degrees of crisis and no matter what your situation is, it’s still hard. Nicogossian uses this metaphor: “If you were swimming in an ocean and knew there were sharks all around you, you wouldn’t pause to ask ‘Am I a good swimmer? Am I doing this right?’ You’d put your head down and swim.” Try to remember that when you feel like you’re failing to meet your typical expectations in these crazy times.
- Examine your standards – And about those expectations, think about why you feel like XYZ should happen or why your family should be doing this certain thing. It’s fine to question how you’re doing as a parent, but it also may be good to let go of some of those expectations or standards you don’t care about so much.
- Keep a time log – Our expert suggests jotting down how much one-on-one time you’ve given your kiddo over a few days. We’re talking about time when you’re not multitasking or yelling for them to focus on remote learning and you’re really giving them your full attention. Even if you can only give them five minutes a day of that, do it. It can go a long way to help you feel okay about being a good-enough parent right now and may give your kids the attention they crave.
- Pat yourself on the back – Celebrate the fact you’ve fed your kids, kept them safe, and have hung out with them a little. It’s adequate and that’s good enough.
Source: Huffington Post